1. Title too long, should simplify.
2. Purusha and Prakriti should be further elaborated in the Balinese context.
3. As a thesis abstract, it should not go into case studies and details. It should provide a general but detailed outline of your thesis project.
4. The modernist examples cited have no relation to your proposed title.
5. Diagram of your research process shows unclear intentionality. The case studies should have drawn from design related more specifically to Balinese design, be it traditional or contemporary interpretation. The challenge in your thesis is how to translate heritage into a modern/postmodern entitiy.

Ash’s comments:

The bases of her research concept and content are sound and interesting . She has produced good bodies of research materials and information, but she has yet to do an in-depth process of clarifying how these materials can be used to demonstrate meaningful and connected research relevance. Some design methodologies examples cited were confused as research methodologies.